Silly girl and her view of the world. She lays on a blanket beneath the old oak tree. Her eyes of blue twinkle like ice as she watches the clouds above her. In her own way, she drifts off into the thoughts of what the world could be like within her lovers arms. To her, love runs deeper than heart beats. Blowing forth the flower in her hand, uttering the words, "he loves me," she dreams of her future. Silly girl doesn't dream of big houses or fast cars. Her only desire is to be in his arms. To her, love runs deeper than material things. Her anticipation grows stronger and stronger with each passing moment as she waits for her lovers embrace. So vulnerable, so fragile, like the honeybee as it passes from flower to flower, silly girl and her view of the world. As her heart beats faster, she begins to wonder if maybe he isn't coming. Pedal by pedal she whispers the words, "he loves me, he loves me not." Just across the wheat feild she spots her lover. There he was. With a smile on his face, he walked closer and closer. His eyes of brown glimmered with the heat of passion. It was written all over his face. He was coming for one thing and one thing only.
Silly girl stood beneath the oak tree, wraped in her lovers arms. He kissed her neck and she thought back to all the times she had dreamed of this moment as a young girl. "I love you", he said as they sat down on the blanket. "What took you so long" asked silly girl. "I had to stop by the barn to pick up this pocket knife" he said as he pulled the knife out of his pocket. Silly girl just smiled as she knew he was going to carve their names upon the old oak. He stood up and began to carve.
With each scrape of the knife, silly girl's dream was becoming a reality. Soon he was finished and he sat upon the blanket. "you're so beautiful." he said as he took his shirt off. Silly girl began to burn with passion for her lover. Before she knew it, the deed had been done. Silly girl laid on the blanket as he stood up and walked away. "Where are you going?" she asked. He just smiled as he said, "On."
Silly girl began to cry as she laid upon the blanket. laying beside her was the pocket knife and the flower with but one pedal left. Silly girl picked up the flower and said, "he loves me not." She began to weep with sarrow. Her mascara streamed down her face with the black rain drops of heart break. As the clouds passed over head, silly girl stopped looking up. She grabbed the knife and began to cut her wrists. With each drop of red sarrow, silly girl made a covenant sealed in blood that she would never make the same mistake.
A few days later, silly girl was admitted to the hospital for depression. She said, "I'm dying of heartbreak and I haven't a reason to live." Silly girl and her view of the world all wrapped up in who was wrapped between her legs. "He loved me not," she explained to the counselor as she pulled her sleaves down over the cuts. "What is love?" asked the counselor.
"Love is passion. Love is dreams. Love is hope. Love is...not everything I hoped it be." said silly girl as she stared at her shoes. "Passion is passion. Dreams are dreams. Hope is hope. And love isn't what it seems." said counselor as she peered over her glasses. "Then what is love if you know so much?" asked silly girl with pain in her heart.
"Love is unconditional. It is an act of will that two people have made an oath to stay together reguardless of life situtations. If they are sick...they stay together. If they are healthy...they stay together. If they are rich...they stay together. If they are poor...they stay together. Come disaster, come sunshine....they stay together. Love can burn with enough passion to bring a building down to ashes or it can burn with the passion no larger than a match....love is love...it can never be burnt out. It is a contract of commitments bound together in relentless devotion." said counselor as she leaned forward in her chair.
Silly girl crossed her legs as she sat in her chair growing more and more frustrated with information that concluded her lover never loved her. "I loved him though. I wanted to be with him forever. We had the commitment and the passion......I loved him." cried silly girl as she reached for a tissue. "What is commitment?" replied counselor with compassonate twinkle in her eye.
"Commitment means you are going to do something. It means your mind is made up and there is no other way." said silly girl as she glanced around the room to all the books on the shelves. "Interesting isn't it that commitment is action. What kinds of actions did you take with your lover? asked counselor. "We went to the dance together, he took me on dates, we held hands in public places, we told each other our secrets, we kissed each other in the moonlight, he called me beautiful, we told each other that we loved each other, we said forever, and we had sex beneath the old oak tree." said silly girl with tears in her eyes. "Which of these actions was commitment?" asked counselor with warmth in her smile. "All of it." replied silly girl. "Everything I did was because I was committed to him." She said.
"Dancing is dancing. Dating is dating. Holding hands is holding hands. Sharing secrets is sharing secrets. Kissing is kissing. Compliments are compliments. Saying I love you is saying I love you. Sex is sex. Let me rephrase my question. Which of these actions were commitment?" asked counselor.
"I guess sex is commitment." responded silly girl with a puzzled look on her face. "Love is commitment and commitment is sex?" asked counselor. "Yeah, I guess so." said silly girl with sarcasm in her voice.
"Tell me this, what is sex?" asked counselor. "Well, when a mommy loves a daddy! haha! I'm just kidding!" said silly girl as she tried to make light of the conversation, "I guess I'd say, sex is the overflow of love. It is the commitment that says I not only give you my heart, but I also give you my body. Sex burns with passion like that flame you talked about." said silly girl.
"If commitment means that two individuals stay together in sickness, does this mean you have sex when you are sick? If two individuals stay together in health, does this mean you have sex when you are healthy? If two individuals stay together and are rich, does this mean you have sex when you are rich? If two individuals stay together and are poor, does this mean you have sex when you are poor?" asked counselor.
"Well, just because you have sex, it doesn't have anything to do with whether or not you stay together. I mean it sure helps, but you stay together because you want to be togther. It's not just for the sex." said silly girl as she tried to teach counselor.
"So if sex isn't commitment, which of the things you did with your lover was love? asked counselor.
"I guess it was saying the words I love you." said silly girl as she pondered.
"Interesting, did you believe those words when your lover said them to you? asked counselor
"Well of course I did. I wouldn't be talking to you right now if I didn't! replied silly girl.
"What actions made you believe your lover when he said those words?" asked counselor.
"It was the way we shared our secrets with each other. We let each other into our own private world's." explained silly girl
"When I was 5 years old, I use to dream about being a firefighter. Do you feel like I am in love with you now?" asked counselor with a smile on her face.
"hahaha! well of course not." laughed silly girl.
"It's nice to be young and burn with passion, isn't it. To feel the embrace of a man who calls you beautiful instead of sexy is a mysterious thing. Two hearts beating together in the heat of desire can be a consuming fire." said counselor "but is it love?" she asked with puzzled look on her face.
"well, I don't think it is love. It is the indulgence of the heart." said silly girl as she tried to teach counselor again.
"Do you love him?" asked counselor, "are you going to be with him in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer?" smiled counselor as she saw silly girl's face light up with understanding.
"Are you saying that if my lover and I really loved each other, we would have gotten married!?!" asked silly girl as she started to catch on.
"I don't think I said that. All I said is that love requires commitment. Did you conclude that marriage is commitment?" asked counselor as she peaked over her glasses.
"I think I did." said silly girl
"I think our time here is done." said counselor as she folded her hands.
"Thank you counselor. I think I know what love is now. Love is a commitment that binds two people together come hell or high water. Maybe it is marriage, maybe it's not. All I know is that I will never mistake sex for love ever again. No amount of words will make me believe that he loves me. No amount of secret sharing, hand holding, dancing, etc will make me believe that I love him. I'll believe I love him when I have some sort of asurance that we are committed to one another." replied silly girl with her new view of love.
Silly girl went back to the old oak. As she read her name and her lovers together, she pulled out a pocket knife and worte the words, "were never in love" beneath it. Silly girl use to think love ran deeper than commitments. She thought it was deeper than the beating of hearts. Silly girl thought love was like a flower. His actions of kissing, holding hands, and having sex where just like pulling pedals from her flower. "he loves me, he loves me not," she whispered as her blue eyes twinkled like ice beneath the old oak tree.
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